What is juggling? by Luke Burrage

Juggling is Pointless by Luke Burrage

Why I Learnt to Juggle by Luke Burrage

Popular Forms of Juggling by Luke Burrage

“This [drug] has been available for about 20 years now in different forms. It was discovered by an out of work chemist back in 1978. Dr. Penþse used a banned variant of horse sedative, mixed with LSD, steroids and an early form of viagra to create a solution that when injected, heightens awareness and reactions to moving objects. Over the years other unemployed chemists have been producing this drug in different forms including a snortable powder, smokable resin and inhalable gas. This latest variant of Antidrop polene is many times more dangerous because it is in a tablet form and can be overdosed very easily.

Antidroppolene fact file

Form: small blue pill with a darker blue spot on one side

Why people take them: strengthens arms, heightens awareness to inanimate objects travelling through space, quickens reactions and prolonged usage can make hands grow slightly larger.

Side effects: This drug is highly addictive, both psychologically and physically. Use over a long period can make the addict delirious and make them believe their own hallucinations. Other bad side effects include impotence, hair loss, skin complaints and panic attacks.

Who takes Antidroppolene: One of the main groups of people who take this drug are jugglers. They use it two ways. Firstly, to improve their juggling ability and secondly, to create illusions in the minds of others unknowingly affected by the gas form of the drug.

A some good examples of the first instance are record holding numbers jugglers like Jason Garfield and Albert Lucas. Jason uses the drug little but often and experiences few of the bad side effects. He was on Antidroppolene when he broke the 11 ball record hence the incomprehension he had after catching all his beanbags. Albert is a much heavier user and is known to have been admitted to hospital after overdosing on many occasions. He was on Antidroppolene when he hallucinated flashing 14 rings hence the total lack of evidence.

The largest recorded instance of the second case was at BJC2k. Just prior to Anthony Gatto’s performance his father, Nick, released copious amounts of the drug in its gas form into the auditorium. The crowd then had a mass hallucination that Anthony pulled off the whole routine including amazing feats like 7 club juggling. This isn’t the case. He actually stood on stage juggling 3 Renegade 32 panel beanbags for 5 minutes wearing a tux and a gas mask. Thousands were taken in and they still believe what they think they saw because the total lack video or photographic footage of his act.

Other names: flash gas, ADP, juggle juice and Rastelli Emulate.”

Kids, its not worth it, don’t take it, just say no!