In a small hotel room in London, our roving reporter caught up with Luke Burrage, Scarborough’s finest juggling talent.

IJDb: Good afternoon, Luke, thanks for agreeing to this interview at such short notice.

Luke: No problem. Why are you interviewing me again?

IJDb: What do you mean?

Luke: You think I don't know that everyone else you asked to interview wouldn't speak to you.

IJDb: Well, it's true that Enrique Rastelli wouldn't return our calls and Anthony Gatto dropped out at short notice.

Luke: Rastelli is dead.

IJDb: Oh... right... let me just cross out his name...

Luke: So you thought of me next?

IJDb: No, after about two dozen high profile jugglers we thought of you.

Luke: So why me?

IJDb: We know you are an attention-seeking self-publicist.

Luke: True enough. First question?

IJDb: Why do you juggle?

Luke: Because it's a fun hobby. And I sometimes get paid for it. And I thought it would help me pull chicks.

IJDb: I guess it didn't work.

Luke: No, of course it didn't. I'm single. Thanks for rubbing it in.

IJDb: How does it feel to be considered as the greatest juggler in the world?

Luke: I think you are getting your questions mixed up.

IJDb: Oh... right... that was one I wrote for Anthony Gatto.

Luke: Look, if you're not going to take this seriously I'm going to leave.

IJDb: What are you most proud of about your juggling?

Luke: I'm quite proud of the new juggling notation system I invented.

IJDb: I've not heard of that.

Luke: Nobody has. I've developed it in secret.

IJDb: Would you give us a hint about what it involves?

Luke: It employs a variable that shows the user just how boring the trick looks to the casual observer.

IJDb: That sounds quite advanced.

Luke: It is. At the moment I am programming software that can display it.

IJDb: Ok, next question. What trick are you planning on learning next?

Luke: I still haven't worked out how to do long division.

IJDb: I meant juggling trick.

Luke: I know.

IJDb: So why did you say long division?

Luke: Look, you've got to understand that juggling is just a hobby. I forgot that and neglected my education. Just remember: juggling can't be relied upon as a quality employers look for where as basic maths skills can.

IJDb: Oh.. right...

Luke: Next question.

IJDb: What did it feel like when you flashed 12 rings for the first time?

Luke: Don't you mean 11 balls?

IJDb: Um... yes. My mistake.

Luke: I felt like I was the dogs *censored*. Almost as good as the first time I juggled 3 balls.

IJDb: So you are trying to tell me that 3 balls is better than 11?

Luke: Yes. When I first juggled 3 balls it was the start of a long journey. 11 balls is just a step in that journey.

IJDb: Most people view you as a numbers juggler. How do you see yourself?

Luke: I'm a musician.

IJDb: Look, you're just being difficult...

Luke: Ok, ok, I'm a numbers juggler.

IJDb: What do you enjoy most about juggling?

Luke: My suntan. I find sunbathing boring so my sessions juggling on the beach are crucial to keep my dashingly good looks the way they are. I like playing with 3 ball tricks too.

IJDb: What do you hate most about juggling and why?

Luke: Joggling.

IJDb: And why?

Luke: I think you'll agree that that is a pointless question.

IJDb: True. Do you want to talk to us about Nigel Green?

Luke: No.

IJDb: Fair enough. Is the glass half full or half empty?

Luke: Half. I am indifferent.

IJDb: What juggling props do you use?

Luke: Blue and white Barnesy Bags and orange Renegade fathead clubs.

IJDb: Orange fatheads? Are you joining the Gandinis?

Luke: No. I just like the look of them. Next question.

IJDb: What do you think your greatest contribution to the world will be?

Luke: The non-spinning juggling club.

IJDb: I mean seriously.

Luke: I am being serious. I've made various prototypes but have yet to develop a model that is reliable enough to demonstrate.

IJDb: Whatever...

Luke: Look, I'm just being honest here. If you don't think I'm worth your time I'll just leave...

IJDb: No, I've still got some questions to ask.

Luke: Get a move on then. You are trying my patience already.

IJDb: You are also well known for your antics on stage. Don't you think that you took your desire for praise and attention too far when you put other peoples lives at risk with your rocket powered poi?

Luke: It looked cool from where I was standing.

IJDb: You didn't answer my question.

Luke: I'm not going to. This interview is over.

IJDb: I just want an answer. Allegations have been made that those poi were homemade and untested, that you lit them onstage without informing the stage managers and you didn't give the lighter back to the audience member who you stole it off. People are looking for answers.

IJDb: And don't slam the door behind you like that.